The Decision

I've made the decision to discontinue training with Shaker. I'm not sure how I really feel about that. He's so much happier not doing dressage. He really enjoys just doing trails and the occasional bareback ride in the arena. However, he's barefoot now, so trails all the time is not the best for his feets.

I love seeing my happy pony, but it's so hard to give up on my goals. I knew training was likely to be as far as we went, but it was still a goal. I have much higher aspirations for myself, but I'm not sure how to achieve them. I'm not going to improve without practice time outside my lessons, but I can't get that practice time with my pony.

I think I've outgrown this wonderful pony, and it makes me sad. I love him so much. I've given up so much for him already. He's the most important thing to me. And all this makes me wonder if I'm really the right person for him. I got him out of one unhappy situation just to throw him into another.

He's an amazing trail horse. He's wonderful with beginners. He's just not a dressage horse. And he'll never be a jumper or an eventer. He's just in general a great all around horse. He's a jack of all trades, master of none. That was great when I was trying out everything, trying to find where I fit in, but now I need something more.

A part of me feels like I'm giving up on him. That he could be a dressage horse if I kept trying. But he won't be. He's 17. We have a lot of bad training to undo. He's spent so long getting his mouth jerked on by beginners. He's sick of bits, and he can't deal with contact. Maybe finally getting his teeth done will help, but it won't be a magical fix to everything. Maybe he could be a dressage horse if only my trainer rode him for several months, but that's not an option. It's too expensive, and I really wasn't a fan of the way she rode him anyway.

I'm thinking I'm going to start looking for a leaser for Shaker. I'm going to be super picky, so it might not actually happen. But he needs someone who is satisfied with what he can do. Someone who is happy to stay well within his limits. It'll be good for him, and maybe he'll find a better match. I'm not giving up on my pony. I'm just trying to find him the best situation possible.

As for what I'm going to do with myself, I don't know yet.